Dinner in hors d’œuvres @ The Quote Garden

(Dinner in hors d’œuvres @ The Quote Garden is a compilation of quotations woven together in segments to tell a classic story of the stereotypical dynamic between Women v. Men and Woman v. Woman. The idea is to try each concept with a grain of salt.)

Women speak two languages – one of which is verbal.1 

After about 20 years of marriage, I’m finally starting to scratch the surface of that one.  And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate.2

Women like silent men.  They think they’re listening.3

Be to her virtues very kind,
Be to her faults a little blind.4

Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right – instantly.5 

Women get the last word in every argument.  Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.6 

Nothing short of Communication’s Great Wall of China blurring the line between sender and receiver, the white tablecloth evens the space between them.  She has mastered this elemental necessity of life such that none can understand her. Follow the rules, and maybe you will make sense of the clashing ballet of rhetoric tossed along with the salad and breadsticks.  

The two women exchanged the kind of glance women use when no knife is handy.7

A husband only worries about a particular Other Man; a wife distrusts her whole species.8

It is because of men that women dislike one another.9

Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman’s weapon is her tongue.10

A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon.11

The chief excitement in a woman’s life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.12

Women dress alike all over the world: they dress to be annoying to other women.13

Seconds are not an option, unless he’s looking for defeat and/or ruthless entertainment.  Now two, either they unite and eliminate him, or use two knives for dessert. Sweet and low is the basis of her battle tactics, as each blow is glazed with words only found comforting in a dictionary.

With men, as with women, the main struggle is between vanity and comfort; but with men, comfort often wins.14

Men look at themselves in mirrors.  Women look for themselves.15

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.16

 [Considering] You have to have the kind of body that doesn’t need a girdle in order to get to pose in one.17

A man’s face is his autobiography.  A woman’s face is her work of fiction.18 

[But] A woman who cannot be ugly is not beautiful.19

Prepping grounds with doors marked “Ladies” are not used for flushing, but rather walls defaced with silver coated glass help her zip, clasp, pluck, and dust.  While in disguise and undercover, she can best face her opponent for courses three through five. Her gear must be taken seriously.  

Good-looking girls break hearts, and goodhearted girls mend them.20

Next to the wound, what women make best is the bandage.21

A woman wears her tears like jewelry.22

A woman’s whole life is a history of the affections.23

How may we help you? Behind the beauty, must come sensitivity. On his command, the volatile battle ceases, and she lightly sprinkles vinegar to dim the spicy hot sting.  She fights on both sides, offense for her team, followed by defense of his.  

It is only rarely that one can see in a little boy the promise of a man, but one can almost always see in a little girl the threat of a woman.24

Nature has given women so much power that the law has very wisely given them little.25

Women do not find it difficult nowadays to behave like men, but they often find it extremely difficult to behave like gentlemen.26

But, Well behaved women rarely make history.27

A little of this, a little of that before Goldilocks finds just right.  Too much sugar, not enough spice, too much makeup, not enough flare. The balance from her tiptoes with heels on metal spikes is an act he won’t ever dare. Government compromises and backs his wishes, while they rule against her batting laches.28

The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them.29

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.30

A woman should soften but not weaken a man.31

Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember.32

A man gives many question marks, however, a woman is a whole mystery.33

Along comes the check, will she leave a tip? Confusion settles his stomach, and she is ready for retreat. Another day, another dinner, will they ever understand each other?

---

1 William Shakespeare
2 Mel Gibson, about what women want
3 Marcel Achard, Quote, 4 November 1956
4 Matthew Prior
5 Sam Slick (Thomas Chandler Haliburton)
6 Author Unknown
7 Ellery Queen
8 Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966
9 Jean de La Bruyère, Characters, 1688
10 Hermione Gingold
11 Arnold Haultain
12 Helen Rowland
13 Elsa Schiaparelli
14 Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966
15 Elissa Melamed
16 Author Unknown
17 Carolyn Kenmore
18 Oscar Wilde
19 Karl Kraus
20 Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966
21 Jules Barbey d’Aurevilly
22 Author Unknown
23 Washington Irving
24 Alexandre Dumas, fils
25 Samuel Johnson
26 Compton Mackenzie, Literature in My Time, 1933
27 Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
28 Laches – delay; Trend in sex discrimination cases against delayed filing of unfair employment practices.
29 Robert Graves
30 James Thurber
31 Sigmund Freud
32 Author Unknown
33 Diana Stürm

Now I Remember Why I Don’t Like TV…

So I admit it, I got hooked to ABC’s Traveler this summer and it seemed to be a decent way of spending my Wednesday nights after sitting in a classroom for 3 hours of law lecture. But after last night, I’m seriously disappointed with ABC.

Check this out: http://memles.wordpress.com/2007/07/18/reviewing-the-series-finale-traveler-the-exchange/

A Strike Too Close for Silence

Just minutes ago I received an IM from a close friend miles away living with her parents in Spain.  Joselyn just celebrated her 15th birthday, and when we last spoke she reported the festivities surrounding the occasion. Her mom and I talked about them visiting the U.S. and she even mentioned our friend Hailu was here in the states. Today, Joselyn’s IM was brief…very brief, and there were no photos of girls in pink formal attire simply this:

[15:23] Familia Lema Gomez: bien una pregunta viste la noticia de k un rayo cayoy casi mata a un misionero re ligioso?

I responded to her request saying I hadn’t heard anything, and then I quickly googled “missionary struck by lightening.” I was guessing there was going to be some interesting story or scary photo she wanted to tell me about, only then I saw his face, Hailu Kidane Marian.  My stomach knotted as I began to read the report, “A group of seventh-day Adventists are praying for a miracle after a lightning strike leaves one of their missionaries in a coma.” 

It’s not funny anymore…we always joke about how we’re terrified of God striking us with lightening and then it happens to a missionary. Reading the comments by some bloggers about something so close to home demanded I raise my voice. I don’t belive this story is mere coincidence, or God scolding him as some have speculated.  He may in fact be sending a wake up call to those of us who remain.  I hope and pray the call is not at the expense of Marian’s life.